we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize