i just wanna soil my oats bro
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize