I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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