I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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