Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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