I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize