I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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