i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize