Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
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I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
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Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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