no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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