I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
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Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
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Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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