guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize