she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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