dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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