I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
Randomize