Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize