you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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