My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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