This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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