i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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