Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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