Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
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