In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize