ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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