The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize