Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize