Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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