Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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