If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
so explain again why im purple
no
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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