so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
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I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
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No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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