I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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