I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize