it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
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I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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