Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize