I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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