where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
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I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
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Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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