I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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