I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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