the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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