since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
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I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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