I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize