does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
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i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
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I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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