If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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