Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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