I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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