conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
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And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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