She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
it hurts more in the daytime
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
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