Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
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I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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