watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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