I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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